WTF Parodies
by Zerkoz
Summary: I don't own Les Miserables. Don't get confused by the name, it's not 'that' WTF. They're just some song parodies I made that were inspired by the story picture. Songfics, obviously. I'm just going to say Javert and Jean Valjean because they were the main things I changed. Like, a lot.
1. Lazy (First meeting)

**These songs were inspired by the story pic.**

**Frp**

Phone(P): Now prisoner 24601! You are asleep and your alarm has rung! You now what that means!

Me: Yes, it means I need to wake up.

P: NO! Follow to the letter your laziness, this badge of shame shows until you go to school! It warns you're an irresponsible man!

Me: I'M GETTING UP! You retard, I'm getting up! Getting up!

P: You will sleep again! Until you learn the meaning of slumber!

Me: I know the meaning of those 12 hours! ASLEEP!

P: 5 HOURS FOR WHAT YOU DID! THE REST BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO WAKE UP! Yes, 24601!

Me: My name is Gabe J!

P: AND I'M YOUR IPOD! DO NOT FORGET MY PASSWORD! DO NOT FORGET ME! 24601!


	2. The confrontation

Phone(P): Gabe J! We see each other on Wi-Fi! Internet Master! You'll have a different connectivity!

Me: Before you say another word, my iPod! Before you chain up my internet like a slave again! Listen to me! There is something I must do! THIS WOMAN KEEPS ON USING INTERNET EXPLORER! AND THERE'S NONE BUT ME WHO CAN INTERCEDE! IN MERCY'S NAME! 3 HOURS ARE ALL I NEED! THEN I'LL SWITCH NETWORKS, I PLEDGE MY WORD! THEN I'LL SWITCH NETWORKS!

P: YOU MUST THINK ME MAD! I'VE HUNTED YOUR IP ADDRESS ACROSS THE YEARS! USERS LIKE YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE! A USER SUCH AS YOU!

**I only know the first 2 lines and the last two lines of Javert in this part here.**

P: USERS LIKE YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE! iPODS LIKE ME CAN NEVER CHANGE!

**Skip**

P: EVERY USER IS BORN WITH NO WI-FI! EVERY USER MUST CHOOSE THEIR OWN NETWORK!

**End of both singing thing**

P: You know nothing of your iPod! I was born inside a factory! To be used by people like you! I am from the store, too!


	3. Admins (Stars)

**Note: These will most likely not be in order. Also, by know, I'm looking up the lyrics and changing them.**

**Also, there might be some things that might be a bit offensive..**

**Frp**

There, out on the web  
An asshole running  
Fallen from the servers  
Fallen from manners  
Emails be my witness  
I never shall yield  
Till we come profile to profile  
Till we come profile to profile

He knows his way in the comments  
Mine is the way of the emails  
Those who follow the path of the nice  
Shall have their reward  
And if they fall  
As most everyone fell  
The flame  
The spam!

Admins  
In your solemn few  
Scarce to be counted  
Filling the web  
With order and light  
You are the sentinels  
Loud and sure  
Keeping watch in google +  
Keeping watch in google +

You know your place in the web  
You hold your course and your aim  
And each in your shifts  
Returns and returns  
And is never the same  
And if you fall as most everyone fell  
You fall as faggots!

And so it must be  
For so it is typed  
On the doorway to respect  
That those who hate and those who troll  
Must pay the price!

Email let me find him  
That I may see him  
Safe behind codes  
I will never shut off  
Till then, this I swear...  
This I swear by the admins!


	4. Red and Black

**I'm uploading these super-speed because I just can't wait with them because they're flying out of everywhere.**

**Fpr**

**Marius:**

A ghost you say... a ghost maybe  
It was just like a ghost to me  
One minute there, and it was gone!

**Grantaire:**

I am agog!  
I am aghast!  
Is Marius in love at last?  
I have never heard him 'ooh' and 'aah'  
You talk of arguments to be won  
But here he comes like Don Ju-an  
It's better than an p-od-cast!

**Enjolras:**

It is time for us all  
To post who we are...  
Do we reply for the right  
To a night with the podcasts now?  
Have you asked of yourselves  
What's the price you might pay?  
Is it simply a MMO  
For young boys to play?  
The color of the web  
Is changing  
Tweet by tweet...  
Red - the blood of angry orcs!  
Black - the dark of Warcraft's past!  
Red - a code about to dawn!  
Black - the download that ends at last!

**Marius:**

Had you been there yesterday  
You might know how it feels  
To be struck to the bone  
In a moment of breathless delight!  
Had you been there tonight  
You might also have known  
How the wants may be changed  
In just one burst of sound!  
And what was gay  
Seems cool  
And what was cool  
Seems gay...

**Grantaire:**

Red...

**Marius:**

I feel my mind on fire!

**Grantaire:**

Black...

**Marius:**

My world if it's not there...

**Chorus:**

Red...

**Marius:**

The color of desire!

**Chorus:**

Black...

**Marius:**

The color of despair!

**Enjolras:**

Marius, you're no longer a noob  
I do not doubt you mean it well  
But now there is a higher call  
Who cares about your unsatisfied soul  
We strive toward a larger goal  
Our little gadgets don't count at all!

**Enjolras and Chorus:**

Red - the blood of angry orcs!  
Black - the dark of Warcraft's past!  
Red - a code about to dawn!  
Black - the download that ends at last!


	5. One click more (One day more)

**VALJEAN**  
One click more!  
Another click, another page.  
This never-ending road to rage;  
These men who seem to know my posts  
Will surely come a second time.  
One click more!

**MARIUS**  
I did not laugh until today.  
How can I laugh when we are parted?

**VALJEAN**  
One click more.

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
Then you'll be codes away  
And yet with you, my codes have started!

**EPONINE**  
One more click all on my own.

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
Will we ever meet again?

**EPONINE**  
One more click with them not caring.

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
I was made to be with you.

**EPONINE**  
What a rendering I might have known.

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
And I swear I will be true!

**EPONINE**  
But they never saw me there!

**ENJOLRAS**  
One more click before the thread!

**MARIUS**  
Do I follow where she uploads?

**ENJOLRAS**  
At the firewalls of freedom.

**MARIUS**  
Shall I join my brothers there?

**ENJOLRAS**  
When our ranks begin to log in

**MARIUS**  
Do I stay; do I dare?

**ENJOLRAS**  
Will you take your place with me?

**ALL**  
The time is now, the click is here!

**VALJEAN**  
One click more!

**JAVERT**  
One click more to revolution,  
We will nip it in the bud!  
We'll be ready for these campers  
They will wet themselves with numbers!

**VALJEAN**  
One click more!

**M. & MME. THENARDIER**  
Watch 'em post amuck,  
Insult 'em as they fall,  
Never know your luck  
When there's a free for all,  
Here a little `dip'  
There a little `touch'  
Most of them are goners  
So they won't miss much!

**Students (2 Groups)**  
1: One click to a new page

2: Raise the png of freedom high!

1: Every man will be an admin

2: Every man will be an admin

1: There's a new network for the winning

2: There's a new network to be won

**ALL**  
Do you see the people's rage?

**MARIUS**  
My place is here, I reply with you!

**VALJEAN**  
One click more!

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
I did not laugh until today.

**EPONINE**  
One more click all on my own!

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
How can I laugh when we are parted?

**JAVERT(overlapping)**  
We will join these poster's heroes  
We will follow where they go  
We will learn their little favorites,  
We will know the things they know.

**VALJEAN**  
One click more!

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
Then you'll be codes away

**EPONINE**  
What a rendering I might have known!

**MARIUS & COSETTE**  
And yet with you my codes have started

**JAVERT(overlapping)**  
One more click to revolution  
We will nip it in the bud  
We'll be ready for these campers

**THENARDIERS(overlapping)**  
Watch 'em post amok  
Insult 'em as they fall  
Never know your luck  
When there's a free-for-all!

**VALJEAN**  
Then we'll be far away,  
Then it is the judgement page

**ALL**  
Then we'll discover  
What our emails in gmail have in store!  
One more buffer  
One more click  
One click more!

**Frp**

**What song should I do next?**


	6. A Database Full Of Numbers

**Marius:**

A database full of numbers

A database full of equations

I'm doing everything all wrong

Oh Pi, for shame

My hard drive does not even know your name

Dear Mad'moiselle

Won't you post?

Will you reply?

**Cosette:**

A database full of numbers

No fear, no Auto-Correct

**Marius:**

My name is Marius Pontmercy

**Cosette:**

And mine's Cosette

**Marius:**

Cosette, I don't know what to tweet

**Cosette:**

Then type no binary

**Marius:**

I am lost

**Cosette:**

I am found!

**Marius: (Eponine: [outside, interjecting])**

A database full of numbers (He was never mine to lose)

**Cosette:**

A database full of you (Why Auto-Correct what could not be?)

**Marius:**

A single zero and then I knew. (These are ones and zeroes he'll never say)

**Cosette:**

I knew it too. (Not to me...)

**Marius:**

From today... (Not to me...)

**Cosette:**

Every program (Not for me...)

**Cosette & Marius:**

For it isn't a sketch (His database full of numbers)

Not a sketch (He will never)

After all! (Feel this way...)


	7. Who am I?

It thinks that user is me

It knew him at a glance!

That stranger it has found

This user could be my chance!

Why should I save his tech?

Why should I right this wrong

When I have come so far

And downloaded for so long?

If I speak, I am condemned.

If I stay silent, I am locked out!

I am the master of hundreds of AIs.

They all look to me.

How can I delete them?

How would they operate

If I am not free?

If I speak, I am condemned.

If I stay silent, I am locked out!

Who am I?

Can I condemn this man to darkness

Pretend I do not feel his agony

This innocent who bears my picture

Who goes to judgement in my place

Who am I?

Can I pixelate myself for evermore?

Pretend I'm not the man I was before?

And must my name until I delete my profile

Be no more than an alibi?

Must I lie?

How can I ever face my fellow men?

How can I ever face myself again?

My life belongs to the emails, I know

I made that bargain long ago

They gave me hope when hope was gone

They gave me strength to hide them

Who am I? Who am I?

I am Gabe J!

And so my iPod, you see it's true

That man bears no more illegal songs than you!

Who am I?

24601!


End file.
